Let’s voice our shame for a second
One of my deepest fears is
I’m not smart enough.
This derives from many things but let’s say intelligence was worshipped in my house growing up.
My grades mattered so much that we actually got financially rewarded for high marks.
Each A on my report card granted me $5 or $10.
And each B or below granted me shame.
What happened here?
Why aren’t you doing enough?
Your sister got an A, why couldn’t you?
So here I am. 28 and still afraid I may be dumb.
Still afraid you’ll think I’m incapable
So of course I get defensive if you talk to me like I don’t know something.
My smugness and ego you see
is really not me
but a scared little girl hiding behind acting supreme.