Posted in Being Vulnerable

It’s not about blame

Another lesson in therapy.

It’s not about blaming your parents for your pain or blaming your religion or culture or anything.

Blame actually doesn’t help.

It feels good.


But it doesn’t heal the wound.

And that’s something I’m having to continue to remind myself.

Because I come from a long line of blamers, similar to Brene Brown.

I’m so comfortable with blaming others because I didn’t witness much accountability as a kid, let’s be honest.

So of course I want to blame you.

Because I watched you blame him or her and think that was okay.

And I’m sure you want to blame me too.

But like I said, it doesn’t help the healing process.

What helps for me is talking about my pain.

Connecting with others about our mutual pain.

And hearing someone say, me too.

That shit heals.

So that’s another reason why I share.

Because I want to fucking heal.

I don’t want to continue to be this angry, bitter Betty who thinks her family fucked her up.

I want to be free from this pain.

I want the wounds to scar over and stop itching for Christ’s sake.

I’m tired of the anger.



lover of words

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