Posted in Living in Australia

A little reflection on my career

So I majored in Finance, right?

But did I know what I wanted to do with that?

No.

I just chose Finance as a fuck you to my dad because he wanted me to do Accounting.

And I hated my Accounting classes.

Let’s be honest, no one likes accounting classes.

They’re full of dry words and jokes about balance.

So I chose Finance.

It wasn’t easy, but it wasn’t miserable either.

And while I was studying I was also working on a hedge fund team for a major bank, so I thought this ain’t too bad right?

Until I realised after two years I was stressed, depressed and full of rage because my job was killing me from the inside.

But that’s the industry, right?

So suck it up, buttercup.

Yeah, nah.

So I moved across the country to another hedge fund team.

Now, that team I truly loved.

That team taught me everything and were also the first people who truly believed in me.

But then the company offshored my job two years later and again I was depressed and full of panic attacks.

So I jumped to another bank.

But this time not on a hedge fund team, but a treasury team.

This role was odd to say the least.

They hired me with no direction and left me to my own devices.

So what did I do?

I wrote letters to my pen pal.

For a year I got overpaid to do nothing.

But for the first time I wasn’t stressed or depressed, instead I was bored.

Very bored.

Next, I made a big leap and moved across the world to be with my pen pal.

I didn’t know where I would work or what I would do. I just knew what I didn’t want to do.

Now, three years later I have an inkling of what I may want to do only through multiple trials and errors.

And I’m realising this shit is hard.

This whole career thing.

I’m constantly curious and anxious about everything.

I want to know how everything works, but then I get too overwhelmed to start.

And unfortunately, this world doesn’t give you too many do overs.

At some point, I need to choose.

But at the same time I regret nothing.

My journey has been interesting and full of beautiful people who have changed my life so I thank the universe for all of it.

Even if it hasn’t been niche.

Author:

lover of words

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