Coming from a finance oriented family, I see life in dollar values.
As I was raised to.
So when people discuss marriage, I wonder why they also don’t discuss divorce.
The risk of failure is 50%.
We know this.
Yet, families still pay for weddings?
Of course, my dad didn’t because he’s smart, but other dads do.
And I don’t understand why.
Don’t they see their risk of investment is too high?
And we all know they don’t get their money back if the couple gets divorced.
So why pay for it?
I mean, if I had a rich dad I would rather he help pay for a down payment on my house.
That’s actually something that will last.
And yeah, I get it.
The idea of marriage is suppose to be hopeful and romantic, not realistic or logical.
And I know I sound like a jaded woman and maybe I am, but I hope I’m not alone in these thoughts.
Because people should really be thinking about this stuff and not just assuming marriage is some Disney fairytale where life becomes better and all your problems are gone.
I personally find marriage has the ability to amplify your problems if you’re not careful.
So why don’t people talk about it?
Vulnerability at its finest 
Interesting. I don’t think marriage is necessarily not worth the investment, but I do think that marriage to the wrong person is possibly one of the worst financial decisions one can make
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Haha I’m that wrong person
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Everyone is entitled to make their own choices as they see fit, but I’ve always known, since I was a kid, I’ll never marry anyone.
Thankfully, my partner of nearly 19 years agreed and it was never an issue for us π€π€
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I love that you and your partner are on the same page about that. And congrats on 19 yrs!!
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π€π€π€
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I know there are many thoughts and approaches to marriage, and I’ve known good friends with spouses with whom they are either married or not married. It depends on the perspectives of the couple and what they feel is appropriate for showing their closeness. There are so many wonderful ways to be together, after all. In terms of those who would like to get married, at least they are things you don’t actually need to spend a lot of money on, if you don’t feel the need for it but just want something to ritualistically show that step in the relationship. It’s a very interesting issue.
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I agree. It is very interesting
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Well, My Dear! I guess the answer to your questions is that “Hope Springs Eternal” where love is involved! The fact that some people do live long and happily married is an inspiration and hope! Why do people gamble at games that they know the odds are way over 50% that they will lose?
Human nature I guess! Or play the lotto? Or eat donuts? Most people know the financial risks of marriage ending in divorce and if it really bothers them about the thought of it ending in divorce then they have prenups?? LOL
ππππΉ
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Completely agree! Because marriage originates in religion which involves doing things just because. In groups and out groups. It is done just for the facebook posts etc. No value above that of your relationship at all. And it costs you twice when you have to divorce!!
Sounds like an absolute nightmare π. But each to their own.
Totally agree too that money would be so much better spent on other things, especially if it’s not even your wedding!! We need less inequality.
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Which involves doing things …not just because but because
1. Power and control which encompasses, shaming culture through fear tactics and name calling.
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Haha! I almost said the same but held back. My more cynical thoughts were along the lines of cultism, ‘othering’, classism, and financial self-interest. Which are all factors to different extents in different circumstances, but the system as a whole certainly can be said to represent/encourage all of those values.
Anything religion-related or which originated in such a system is justβ¦yuck in general.
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I mean related to the whole thing is the ‘bullying’ which goes on with people getting badgered about when are they going to get married, which whenever I hear about it is so shocking to me, and particularly a problem for women, so it’s also sexist. I would never keep such people in my life, it’s toxic and yet it’s so normalised.
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(So yeah basically what you said I think). Itβs not directly a fault of the marriage system but inextricably a part of it socially.
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I actually just wrote another whole blog about this because now I’m all worked up. But I won’t post it till next week haha
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Haha, glad I could inspire a rant! Yeah I tend to get going when on a thought track too π.
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Seriously!!!
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