I don’t want to forget.
I don’t want to forget these moments when I was learning to crawl.
Because that’s what I feel I’m doing.
I’m learning how to love myself with a baby’s progress.
I’m learning how to heal my heart and it takes time.
Days upon days until they turn into years.
And I don’t want to forget this time when I first dived into my own heart.
My own pain.
Because I know myself.
One day, years from now, I’ll think I have it figured out.
I hope that day never comes
But knowing my superior egotistical self, it will.
And I hope someone points me back to here.
For comparing you to my dad.
Why do you think he’s with you?
Me listing my reasons…
Therapist: You forgot to mention because he loves you.
Me: Laughs awkwardly…and then realizes why…
I have never felt a love like his and am so overwhelmed and in disbelief by it that I try to avoid it.
Who would love me, I think?
A girl with so much baggage.
He would, she says.
Do you ever just read someone’s email and think, do you have no respect for words or grammar?
I know I’m not perfect, but holy shit.
Do you write your mom text messages with that many errors?!
As someone who is so burnt out that even the ashes are being consumed… take the break!
Sometimes I really lack perspective.