Posted in Being Vulnerable

I make dark jokes

I get it from my dad

We always did have the same sense of humor

My sister does it too actually

She once laughed when telling me someone died

She couldn’t help herself

She was nervous

It just spilled out

And I understood

We don’t deal with tragedy like most

We cope through humor

Instead of tears

And I love that about us

And I love that about him

Because I know of the pain he’s gone through

Even though he won’t tell me

Because I can hear it

When his laugh tells me

Posted in Living in Australia

Lock down #2

Same time

Same place

Vaccine won’t come until October

I’m fine

I’m totally fine

Just going a little mental

Better than last year’s mental

But still

The antsy fretting won’t stop

I feel trapped

But I’m grateful to have a job

I feel caged

But I’m grateful no one I know has died

I feel tied down

But I’m grateful I still can run outside

I feel

I feel

I feel

But I can’t explain it

Posted in Relationships

Never woke up in my dreams

I’ve been up since 6am.

And it’s Saturday.

Why, you might ask?

No reason.

Just my body clock telling me to pee.

Though, I have to say, I love this time of day.

Cuddling with him.

Being his big spoon.

Looking out the window

Watching the wind flirt with the tree.

It’s been magical

This morning.

And it’s not just this morning

It’s every Saturday morning.

We sit here

Sip our coffee together

And I dream.

I dream about my past dreams.

How I always wanted this

A man

A coffee

And a book

Wrapped into one.

But honestly, it doesn’t feel real!

How did I get here?

I ask myself.

Do I even deserve this?

My man is literally cooking me breakfast right now.

Truly, I don’t deserve all of this?!

It is too beautiful.

Too loving.

Too perfect.

And I know people say perfect doesn’t exist.

But those people never woke up in my dreams.