Posted in My Poetry

Insecurities

I hear you whispering in my ear.
Knocking at my door.
Pay attention!
Pay attention!
There is something I have to tell you!
Something urgent, something true.
I turn on the light and squint with displeasure
"What is the password?", I say with amuse.
"Does it matter?", you hiss.
"Yes", I whisper back, "boundaries are a must. I don't just let anyone into my house, you see. Only I hold the key."
The darkness holds you still.
You're shocked!
What happened to the people pleasing girl I knew?
But after a ponder you quickly propose, 
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said last night. 
Will you please let me in?"
And from the depths of darkness you start hearing laughter calling
"Let you in?", I say. "You must be joking. I have nothing left to offer you. Time is of the essence and I cannot continue this game. Now leave me to sleep as I was having a good dream."
You shake your head with confusion
Our relationship had been your safest scheme.
Now what would you do? Rejection didn't suit you.
So you leapt from the porch in search of the next ear,
trusting she was near.


Posted in My Poetry

Write about your tattoos

The ink is my memory
My reach into the past
Each line is like a hand I can't help but take
The escape is so real
One more hit, one more feel
You'll understand if you get one
It will make you come undone
The addiction tastes warm
Like crawling back into your mother's womb
It eases me
And when it is finished, I get to see my heart beat hung on my skin
Knowing nothing is akin
I am unique, regardless of what you say
And I will continue this investment of art until every dollar is paid
Posted in My Poetry

dragons in the night

The sounds of night alarm me
Crick, crack
Movement tip toeing on the tin roof
Is it a possum or a dragon
My mind cannot see shapes so it makes its own
That use to be a tree, but now it is a person spying on me
How do I make sense of it all
Just like nightmares, the shadows warp my fears
I imagine surrender
The waving of the white flag
But something fights in me
Reminding me what's real
I cannot let them win
So I lean on my next inhale and open the bin
To hiss at the possums playing with trash
Get out of here
Be gone, I say
I have slayed the dragon
So now they must obey.
Posted in My Poetry

The girl with the dreads

They dangled down her back, each thread separate but together. And she worshiped them. Her dreads were her identity. Her freedom. Her home. So when she joined the army she never questioned if they were coming with her. With every push up and every pull up, her hair cheered her on as each bead clapped together with the swing of her head. The sound soon became the girls anthem song.

No one could forget that smile. That wide, bright smile with her dark blue eyes. It’s almost as if she knew something we didn’t know.

But what was it?

So when it was spring break in San Diego and the soldiers were out playing at the beach, we weren’t even surprised to see her running down the sidewalk pushing a grocery cart with a few books and a dog in it. It was her after all.

Boy did she play with the crowd! She weaved and waggled that cart while running full speed ahead and never hit a soul! The dog, of course, laid still as if he belonged there his whole life. Not even fazed for a moment.

She just kept running and laughing all along the board walk until something blocked her path. And the only thing that could ever manage to do that was what appeared to be a volleyball match. Two boys on either side, thin as sticks, whacking the beautiful white globe back and forth until one boy became victim to “the tip” and the ball would fall so close to the net that it was almost impossible to dig it up.

And there she stood. It was love at first sight. She couldn’t deny it. The game had won her heart.

While she was momentarily distracted, a puppy nearby took a liking to her dog in the cart. Now this puppy was like any other, fluffy and curious, nothing special. So of course, the dog in the cart didn’t give the pup even a side eyed glance because it wasn’t worth its time. However, as it came closer she noticed a twinkle in its eye that she recognized and just as she was reaching her arms out, it bolted! It found the nearest hole in the fence and ran.

Who was its owner you may ask? One of the sticks playing the glorious game! And once he noticed the pup had houdinied out of its leash and escaped through the fence, he dropped the ball and tried to chase after him.

And again there she stood, flabbergasted he would choose the pup over the game. No matter. A spot was now open and it was her turn to play.

Posted in My Poetry

Where do the birds go?

Where do the birds go when it rains? What gives them protection from the storm? I can imagine them shivering, huddled together worried and afraid. I can also imagine them desperately scanning the horizon seeking any missing friends hoping they counted every feather in their flock.

However, what I most imagine is what they do with that fear. Do they let it consume them or do they let it release them?

And as I walk and ponder this I hear them all at once opening their throats to what begins to sound like a melody. A melody, I believe, they save only for storms. A melody of hope in the horizon where fear can not hurt them. And so they begin, one by one singing their song of courage and joy in the unknown. And as I look up I can see them imagining my fear instead of theirs. They are no different than me, I realize. And with their feathers stretched out, I begin to see them sway. Feather by feather they stretch and sway until the entire flock unites as one choir, heads raised high, eyes closed. The build up becomes so intense that it starts to grow and lift their spirits beyond the barn where they perch. Even the munching cows take notice!

The chorus continues to climb; nothing will cease the chant of love until the last drop of rain touches the earth. Even if they have to hum to the finish line, I realize, the flock will not stop for they believe their sound is their horizon.

Posted in My Poetry

Tash Sultana

That freedom
It inspires me
Her spirit lifts me 
All I can feel is her song in my breath
Telling me to breathe.
How can she let go?
She strikes me fearless 
But I don't care.

If fear is what it takes

Then let me be the first to open the door

Because I want her freedom.

I want it in my skin

My heart is begging for a chance
To be seen for more.
Give me that care free
Give me that dream
Because she is fire
So let me breathe in my desire.

Posted in My Poetry

Who needs drugs when we have words?

Things that drip off our soul in the dark of night
Beautiful like stars they shine for us
Grasping, flailing I seek them
Lovingly I reach for them, but their dance is ever lasting
I cannot hold them
Yet I feel them in the air
Breathing in
Breathing out
I taste them
I’m alive with them
Only for a moment
Do I share a dance with them
A partnership that will move a lifetime
I want to be in their embrace
Because all I am is theirs
The silence is unbearable without them
So let them drip off my soul
And drink from my hope
They’re calling for me