I don’t know why my anxiety is so bad today. I just feel so overwhelmed and like I can’t cope. I feel like crying alot. I feel restless. I feel just on the verge. Like I’m trying everything I can do to be healthy and do the right thing and it’s so hard. These feelings are so hard. Choosing not to numb myself is so hard.
Give me your pain
Let me hear your sorrow,
Breathe in your depression,
Taste your discomfort.
For your feelings are my feelings
And your cross is my cross.
If you didn’t cry during meditation, are you even spiritual, bro?
I woke up to the flame
The fire dancing between your fingers
You giggled as I stared
Scared you would burn
But you never did
You and him
Always knew how to play between the lines
How to push boundaries
You both laughed in the face of danger
But I never did
Instead, I was your Zazu.
Scared of getting caught
Scared of getting burned
I toed the line
Until one day the line burred
And I became the flame
So the shopping is still going on.
I bought new running sunnies.
Don’t worry! Leggings are still an obsession.
But these new sun glasses were the next needed buy.
Goodr is seen on alot of ultra runners, including Courtney Dauwalter, who is kind of my hero. And obviously if she’s wearing them, I need them too. Yes, I am that easily influenced. But honestly, they’re worth it. The colors are bright and fun and make running even more enjoyable. I know caring about fashion while running sounds stupid, but it actually does bring more joy to my life when I wear a cute outfit while exercising. Also, being comfortable while uncomfortable is really important. Running long distances isn’t easy so why make it harder by wearing shitty sunglasses that slip all the time?
Might as well do the research, see what the professionals are wearing and see if those brands are worth investing in.
So I did.
And I love them!
“I let my trauma time travel.” – Jason Wilson
This episode has me feeling all the feels. Grown men, fathers, talking about their vulnerabilities always gets me teary. He told Joe, “Don’t let your trauma time travel.”
And don’t I know I do that. I not only let it time travel. I let it brood and take pieces of me. I drag it around with me like an anchor, yet never let it down when I get to shore. There is no shore. I just sail in circles brooding and shaking with anger.
But here is this grown man who has experienced a thousand more times the trauma than I have telling Joe to let it go.
It doesn’t serve you.
Stop bleeding and go get healed.
Life is more than just our pain.