I’m not insane
I know what burn out looks like
It is stress on steroids.
Hence the addiction.
But I don’t use the needle anymore.
Through pain of course.
But eventually, I learned
That my worth is not wrapped up
In my productivity.
Because it is already innately wrapped up in me.
“If you’re not crying once a month, are you even working?”
“If your heart isn’t beating out of your chest from your anxiety, are you even reaching your full potential?”
…month end is so fun.
As my last trip got cancelled, I’m excited to say I’m finally going to Brisbane for work.
Though as luck would have it, I have the sniffles and I don’t feel 100%.
But I tested multiple times and it’s not the C word so that’s good.
Regardless, I’ve thrown the kitchen sink at it. As rogan would say.
I have taken vitamin c packets, olive leaf, sudafed, ibuprofen and plenty of water.
I’m determined for it to not progress because currently it’s at a manageable level.
And who knows? It could be allergies with all this change in weather in Sydney.
All I know is I can’t cancel my trip again.
It’s too important.
1. I am now able to eat dark chocolate every day and not over eat.
2. I am now able to run a half marathon.
3. I am getting comfortable crying. I have cried almost every day the past two weeks and I see this as an accomplishment of facing my emotions in a healthy way.
4. I am letting go of my insecurity about my butt.
5. I am opening up to my partner more and checking my ego when it gets triggered.
6. I have meditated for 18 days straight.
If you didn’t cry during meditation, are you even spiritual, bro?
I will solve the problem
which is me.
I will get to the bottom
How I can be control and chaos
I don’t know
But I will find balance