Posted in Being Vulnerable

Perfect isn’t pretty

I feel as I get older I start to resonate more and more with my mom’s wise words, “looks don’t last forever”.

Yes, I was a shallow kid. Like most university students, I wanted to date the hottest guys. And I remember drooling over one guy and my mom gently reminding me, “it won’t be like that forever.”

And at the time I thought she was just talking about his body, but what I’ve come to realize is she was talking about all bodies.

Our bodies change.

We get older and they transform.

And this is usually met with denial and resistance, but maybe it doesn’t have to be.

Maybe perfect isn’t pretty.

What if what’s actually pretty is people’s “flaws”.

Because aren’t our flaws what bring us together and say, me too?

-B.

Posted in Being Vulnerable

Growth check in

1. I am now able to eat dark chocolate every day and not over eat.

2. I am now able to run a half marathon.

3. I am getting comfortable crying. I have cried almost every day the past two weeks and I see this as an accomplishment of facing my emotions in a healthy way.

4. I am letting go of my insecurity about my butt.

5. I am opening up to my partner more and checking my ego when it gets triggered.

6. I have meditated for 18 days straight.

Posted in Being Vulnerable

Insecure

Why are we more insecure about our bodies than our hearts?

Where’s your heart at?

Is your love for others greater than yourself?

Have you sought to help someone else today?

Where’s your heart at?

Posted in Living in Australia

Keto friendly

This year I’ve really been playing around with different keto strategies.

It’s been really fun to explore different diets in my life and I’m always so curious how my body will react.

I’ve tried vegan, vegetarian, carnivore and now keto. I’m not really a strict rule follower, more of a friendly follower. But I am finding keto pretty amazing. I love feeling full. I love not snacking. I love eating big protein dense brekkies. Lately I’ve been craving fish so I’ve been frying up basa fillet in butter in the morning then I fry up some bacon and eggs. I can put down. And after that I don’t eat for probably 4 or 5 hours. Just depends on what I’m up to. Then I air fry some broccoli and cauliflower for lunch, maybe have a couple potatoes (that’s where I lose the strict keto people) and then for dinner I might have some canned tuna on Gouda cheese slices.

It’s all pretty simple. I’ve never been one to stay long in the kitchen so it works for me. I like efficient eating.

And my tummy likes it too. The bloating is gone. There are no munchies in the middle of the day or exhaustion at 3 for no reason.

I feel good.

Maybe this diet will actually stick around?

Who knows?

Posted in Living in Australia

Noom

Hey there,

Just here to say I’m still tracking my food, weight and exercise.

I actually don’t find it tedious. Surprisingly I find it quite easy, but I have always been fortunate with the ability to pick up habits quickly. However that fortune doesn’t show up in the long game as I am pretty terrible at finishing goals. But I think this time will be different. With all the chaos of covid in Sydney right now, this measly sense of control with my fitness journey feels good. Not only good, but safe. I feel safe when I see myself sticking to a goal and being in control. Obviously it’s not some linear graph of perfection. My weight has gone up and down as I’ve been tracking it, but I’ve learned that is to be expected.

I’ve also learned what one of my triggers are that make me over eat. It’s alcohol. I mean, I’m sure that’s obvious to you as it is most people’s trigger because who says no to a gin and tonic? Or a margarita? or a whiskey and coke? Or whatever else is nearby? I’m in a fucking lock down for Christ’s sake. I need a distraction. So yes, the alcohol speaks to me and tells me to eat that bag of chips or that McDonald’s soft serve ice cream or that big ball of cheese in the fridge. It has no qualms with what gets shoved in my face. Honestly it’s insane who I become when I have a drop of liquor. I might as well be called Shrek or Big Foot or Thomas the tank engine. My appetite literally becomes a behemoth I barely can control.

So that’s alarming. I’ve come to realize.

But it’s manageable.

I can simply choose not to drink.

Which I’m lucky is easy for me.

Or I can practice telling the alcohol/venom voice to shut the duck up.

Either way, I’m growing right?

And yes, I said duck instead of fuck.

Love you.

K. Bye.