Posted in Being Vulnerable

Overwhelmed

My feelings have drowned me today, but I choose to remember my super powers anyway.

1. Connection

2. Writing

3. Self awareness

4. Empathy

5. Driven and highly motivated

6. Disciplined

7. Love bringing joy to others

8. Good listener

Posted in Being Vulnerable

Growth check in

1. I am now able to eat dark chocolate every day and not over eat.

2. I am now able to run a half marathon.

3. I am getting comfortable crying. I have cried almost every day the past two weeks and I see this as an accomplishment of facing my emotions in a healthy way.

4. I am letting go of my insecurity about my butt.

5. I am opening up to my partner more and checking my ego when it gets triggered.

6. I have meditated for 18 days straight.

Posted in Living in Australia

Falling with style

If you know where I got my title, tell me. I’d like to unite with some old school Disney kids.

So I fell today.

Just a little curb trip during my run. Nothing crazy. I did sit there for a bit on the pavement chuckling to myself. I do that when I’m in pain. I googled it, laughing is some kind of defense mechanism I guess. It works for me.

Anyways, I was really grateful though that when I tripped a cyclist saw me and stopped to check on me. He was a typical Aussie grandpa. Very sweet, very calm and just asking me questions. “Did you break anything? Just breathe. Don’t move right away. Is your elbow okay?”

And the whole time I was just laughing with embarrassment and thinking, “what a kind soul.”

After a couple minutes I was fine though and I told him, “Thank you for stopping. I gotta keep running now. ” and so he left and I continued on my way, but in all honesty, he made my day.

Posted in Being Vulnerable

Journal 15

Today I feel encouraged.

Excited.

Thrilled for the evolution of women.

Because lately, I’ve been meeting more and more women who are okay with not having children.

And people, this is a big deal!

Because when I was growing up, I was surrounded by young, christian girls who believed their soul mission was to find a man, wait for sex, get married, and then pop out some babies.

And it was fucking discouraging for me to live up to such a mundane existence. And such a stringent one at that!

1. Waiting for sex? Shit I tried and I even pat myself on the back for getting to 20 years old at least. But it wasn’t for me. My libido was insane growing up and I wish someone had told me it was normal, that it was okay and even went so far as to hand me a vibrator. Because that would have been alot more fruitful than seeking dick for seven years and thinking I was a slut or worse, a bad christian.

2. Marriage? Nah bitch. This girl is too traumatized for that shit. I was raised with fighting, miserable parents staying together for god and the kids. I don’t want that.

3. Babies? Now that I’m thinking about once in a while, but the difference is I actually feel no pressure about it.

I feel very okay with having one or not having one.

And I even feel more okay having one and not being married first.

I know.

Shocker.

But yeah, meeting all these strong, beautifully capable women tell me they are pretty “meh” about the whole idea, is actually really exciting for me. They don’t feel rushed. They don’t feel confined.

They feel free.

And isn’t that a fucking victory for us?

I mean, it feels like it to me god damn it!

So let’s raise a glass to all the women out there deciding their life is more than just a vessel for children and pray those around them have the eyes to witness this evolution without being absolute fuckwits.

Posted in Being Vulnerable

Journal 13

I’m speechless.

I come home exhausted and defeated after a two hour walk with my psycho dog

And there in the house is my boyfriend.

My boyfriend who is suppose to be at the job site.

The boyfriend I just got off the phone with.

He’s in the house.

With a bouquet of roses, dinner made, candle lit and music playing.

I’m not joking.

I started crying.

I was so shocked at this huge display of love.

I lost it.

Sometimes a person’s love for you will do that.

It will just sneak up on you and reintroduce itself.

Hey Brooke, my name is love.

We met a while ago, but you’ve gotten a bit comfortable and have forgotten me so I thought I’d reintroduce myself.

It was gentle.

Soft.

And the biggest relief to have dinner made.

Because Fuck I love food.

And he nailed it.

Truly, I am so honored to be his partner in this lifetime.

What a fucking legend.