I’m not insane
I know what burn out looks like
It is stress on steroids.
Hence the addiction.
But I don’t use the needle anymore.
Through pain of course.
But eventually, I learned
That my worth is not wrapped up
In my productivity.
Because it is already innately wrapped up in me.
I had to make life hard for you
Because I didn’t want you to grow up in the trap that life is deserved not earned.
So I pushed you.
And tore you down just enough that you would constantly feel insecure
Then I would compete with you
And award you.
And what did you grow to become?
A secret narcissist.
Better known as an insecure perfectionist.
You’d have tantrums over losing your spelling book for fear of failing your test.
You’d scream if your hair wasn’t straight.
You’d cry if your sister beat you at games.
But you got straight A’s, didn’t you?
And I’m so proud of you.
Flavors, I’ve decided.
As I sit here with my cappuccino and meat and cheese pie.
You may not think these two go together, but in Australia anything is possible.
Especially putting cinnamon in a meat and cheese breakfast heaven.
It tastes like childhood meets damsel in distress.
Does that even make sense?
Well, the flavors bring back memories and that’s all I need.
Many many fond memories of children laughing on the sand while my mom is making smores and my dad is warming the towels.
Life comes down to that, doesn’t it?
And what better way to get there then through food!
What a weird experience to witness
The death of my flower
And the bloom of yours.
This really is the circle of life